Who watches the watchers?

The Sentinel (2006)
20th Century Fox presents a Clark Johnson film, starring Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland. Written by George Nolfi, from a novel by Gerald Petievich. 108min. PG-13 for some intense action violence and a scene of sensuality.

2 stars

When a cinematic body someday honors Michael Douglas with a lifetime achievement award, they’ll undoubtedly recognize that he has defined, for two decades, the role of an otherwise likeable guy who is always in peril because of a troubled dame.

I’m certain our personal interactions, as viewers, with specific actors influence each subsequent film experience. Films like “Fatal Attraction,” “Basic Instinct,” and “Disclosure” become the building blocks for my expectations of Douglas’s character in “The Sentinel.”

Since I’m also one of the 13 million Americans who religiously tune in to watch Kiefer Sutherland continually save the world on “24,” I anticipated his “Sentinel” character to act aggressively – and sometimes illicitly – to root out the mole within the Secret Service who has murder on their mind.

Well, half right ain’t bad.

David Breckinridge (Sutherland) is the soft-pedaled Jack Bauer, a humorless agent who adheres to every protocol even though he knows the man he’s chasing – his mentor, Pete Garrison (Douglas) – knows them all.

Garrison has wedged himself into a hell of a predicament, flunking an agency-initiated polygraph because he can’t cop to diddling the First Lady (Kim Basinger) without completely destroying the credibility of the office.

This makes his suspect numero uno for the mole role, which means Garrison is going to have to go rogue and find out who has made him a patsy before Breckinridge executes the right protocol and stumbles upon the now-disgraced agent.

That plot contrivance gives screenwriter George Nolfi license to lead Douglas through a sequence of eye-rolling feats of derring do before he’s apprehended. Those of us willing to suspend our disbelief chuckle at the idea that Garrison can effortlessly outsmart his team with a couple of grab bag items from Radio Shack and a well-timed telephone call.

And oh, the melodrama of Garrison’s personal relationships! We’re told that Breckinridge and Garrison were once close friends, which means Breckinridge understands his ex-partner leading with his libido, even if he hotly surmised the target was his wife. And Garrison’s fling with the First Lady is so ill-advised, it’s no surprise the whole thing is tantamount to a couple of awkward fondles in between security sweeps. This guy is so downtrodden, he probably needs three scotches just to walk in the door and say hello.

Of course, this inordinate amount of attention on Garrison is all just window dressing until we’re given the one or two clues that incriminate the real mole. During the film’s climax, we’re not certain of our traitor’s real motives. Is it because terrorists are holding his family hostage? Or is it because he made a handshake pact with the now-defunct KGB two decades ago, then decided to effortlessly climb the ladder of one of the most security-conscious agencies in the world? Would you believe both?

I’ve said nothing of Eva Longoria, the “Desperate Housewives” honey who has been given a character with only the broadest strokes brushed in. She’s eye candy, exploited for moments in which the script inexplicably demands someone be sexually harassed by a gaggle of white-collar frat brothers or verbally assaulted by Breckinridge for being the doe-eyed rookie unfortunate enough to get “thwart presidential assassin” as her first day’s work.

Certainly, the whole affair is competently directed by Clark Johnson, who has acted in and directed enough police procedurals to make a film like this without breaking a sweat. Like his previous efforts, “The Sentinel” takes great pains to draw its viewers in with stylized shots of agents locked and loaded, traveling in security details that are, at the very least, aesthetically intimidating. But it’s only so long that we can feast on sweets and sugars without the necessity of meat and potatoes.

With a plot that would be vilified by even the most care-free “24” fans, “The Sentinel” is not a grand failure, but a disappointment nonetheless.