Killing without impunity

Paparazzi (2004)
20th Century Fox presents a Paul Abascal film, starring Cole Hauser and Robin Tunney. Written by Forrest Smith. 85m. PG-13 for intense violent sequences, sexual content and language.

1 star

I remember a late afternoon in September 1997 when I was almost retching in front of my television.

Actor George Clooney was making a statement to reporters decrying the ethics of tabloid journalism in light of the Princess Diana death. He was saying, “Princess Di is dead, and who should we see about that? The driver of the car? The paparazzi? Or the magazines and papers who purchase these pictures and make bounty hunters out of photographers? The same magazines, television shows, and papers that use their pages, creating the news, causing altercations and then filming them.”

Nodding their heads in an approving fashion were those poor harassed individuals with multi-million dollar homes, Vendi bags and gold Rolexes.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, those celebrities with multi-million dollar banks accounts started withdrawing those funds for a puff piece that could only truly be enjoyed by those who are under the delusion that people who make a living off their photographs deserve to die. “Paparazzi” is the movie in question.

In the film, Bo Laramie (Cole Hauser) is an actor whose star explodes after he’s in a “Lethal Weapon”-type movie. Bo knows acting, but he doesn’t know how to deal with the new found attention he’s receiving. After nosy photographer Rex Harper (Tom Sizemore, in a truly creepy performance) shows up at little Zach Laramie’s (Blake Michael Bryan) soccer game, Bo throws a right cross into Harper’s face.

In the regular world, that’s assault. For celebrities, that’s a sentence of anger management classes.

Harper and his cronies - the slimy Leonard Clark (Tom Hollander), the sleazy Wendell Stokes (Daniel Baldwin) and the grimy Kevin Rosner (Kevin Gage) - aren’t satisfied with merely simple harassment. Instead, they stage a rundown in which they box Laramie’s family truck inside their three cars until another car comes and sideswipes the Laramie rig. Then they get out and take pictures.

It’s supposed to be a scene reminiscent of the way the Princess of Wales died - except for the part about the intoxicated driver, the high speeds and the tunnel divider.

Instead, it’s overblown, easily excitable and extremely irritating. This Mel Gibson produced movie has all the makings of a revenge piece: not just Laramie revenging his accident, but Gibson financing a film that is supposed to make paparazzi look like monsters so he can definitively prove to the world that celebrities should be left alone.

Some who know me will remember I voiced displeasure about what Gibson would do with the hundreds of millions of dollars that audiences - myself included - gave him for “The Passion of the Christ.”

I told people he was going to try and rewrite history. I didn’t know it would be this way.

With his wife missing a spleen and his child in a coma, Laramie doesn’t know how to get back at those meddling paparazzi - who are made out to be the devils incarnate. In fact, Harper says after he’s assaulted, “I'm gonna destroy your life and eat your soul.” Yuck.

Laramie’s revenge is to murder, all the way being wink-wink-nudge-nudged by the local police detective (Dennis Farina). Oh sure, he has enough evidence to convict Laramie of murder, but the detective feels sorry for the celebrity. Laramie was only defending his family, right? What’s a little murder between friends?

At the end of the movie, when the paparazzi are taking pictures at the premiere of another Laramie blockbuster, I couldn’t help but think of George Clooney. Love them or hate them, the photographers have a job to do. Clooney’s rant about restricting the media resonated with paparazzi covering the premiere of then new Clooney blockbuster, “The Peacemaker.”
As Clooney saddled down the red carpet, the paparazzi responded in a way anyone would do if someone tried publicly to get them fired.

No one snapped a single shot.

“Paparazzi” was made by a bunch of celebrities who have forgotten that the media attention have long excited people into spending their well-earned money and bankrolling their lavish lifestyles. The movie plays out like sour grapes from pots who are desperately trying to call the kettles black.

They might be reminded of what Clooney felt that night at “The Peacemaker” premiere.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.